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Spicy Holiday Discourse

Today, I’d like to make a motion to eliminate, once and for all, any and all public discussion and discourse of two topics that arise every year around this time:

1. The timing of holiday ads, items and retail displays

2. Pumpkin spice “anything”

In an effort to be true to my aforementioned motion, I won’t go into detail about either of these because I don’t have to. We’ve all been victims (or beneficiaries, depending on your perspective) of news stories, ads and discussions that included people 1) bitching about or 2) celebrating either or both way too often. And that’s precisely why I want to eliminate these two specific topics of conversation … forever.

Besides, we all know they aren’t going anywhere, and likely, their appearance and prevalence will only intensify for the foreseeable future, so what is there to discuss, and what’s the point anyway?

To be clear, I have no issue with anyone’s opinion on these topics. It’s simply the conversations about them I want to eliminate.

So, if you like either or both of these things, good on you. Smile, celebrate and take it all in (within reason). If not, walk away. It’s that simple.

These issues, like so many that ruffle our collective feathers, don’t deserve the mind space and breath we waste on them. Besides, like so many other things, these two topics – ones which bear no real significance in the grander scheme of things (in my opinion) – are super-polarizing, and that reason alone should be enough for all of us to say … well, “enough.”

Still need convincing? Ask yourself two questions:

“Am I looking for additional combative, polarizing topics to discuss with family, friends, neighbors and co-workers?”

“Are either or both of these topics truly changing the course of my life, my week, my day or even this moment in any way?”

If you answered “yes” to either, then you probably disagree with me, and that’s fine (though I reserve the right to cock my head in confusion if you are indeed looking for more polarizing discussions or if you’re letting the very idea of “pumpkin spice” affect your life in any way).

If you answered “no” to the above questions, then I ask you to please join me in silent (and private) solidarity, not to stop these two things from happening in the world, but simply to stop talking about them.

Thank you in advance for your support and understanding.

© 2021 David R. Haznaw

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