How Y'all Are?

I left home as the Sun was making its first appearance, peeking out from behind a grove of large trees. It was quiet and cool; a time when we early risers like to get out and move before the rest of the world joins in and makes things loud and busy.

Back in the day, my primary early morning activity would have been running. But for various reasons (most notably a hip that will require replacement in the fall), I now opt for walking (as fast as my body, age and short legs will allow) or biking.

On the morning in question, I chose the bike.

When I was a runner, I was all business, focused on every mile and footfall, offering nothing more than a nod or a small wave to other “early morningers” as I passed. It was a different time, and I was in a different place mentally when I worked out. But now, after being forced into a more pedestrian pace (both on foot and on wheels), I find myself more relaxed, allowing myself to enjoy the time, and having more interaction with others along my route.

That said, I’ve become a “Good morning!” person; something that I had never been until a few years ago. It’s not that I’m not a friendly person; I think I am (though I’ll leave others to be judge and jury on that). It’s just that I’ve always kept to myself when exercising.

But beyond the fact that I’m operating at a more leisurely pace, I think my urge––and overall need––to be friendly has grown as the world has changed. If you’re a regular reader, you know that I wave at school buses while on my morning walks. And as I make my way through the “general population” every day, I’m trying to offer small acts of friendliness and kindness wherever possible, without encroaching on another’s privacy or personal space.

This brings me back to the bike on the morning in question. During my ride, I encountered 23 unique individuals or groups walking, running, biking (and one roller-blader), and to each I issued a wave, a smile, and a hearty “Good morning!” commensurate with the distance between us.

For those I passed on the trail, it was simply a peace sign and conversational greeting, “Hello” or “Mornin’.” Conversely, for the guy across the street who was putting out his garbage cans for pickup, it was a friendly yell and large wave. He was, at first, surprised, but then responded in kind.

In all but two cases, my actions were met with equal levels of energy. One of the remaining two simply nodded, and the last didn’t acknowledge me at all. (That’s fine. I took no offense.)

When I started this initiative to be more openly friendly to strangers, I had to challenge myself to be the initiator. I’ve always been good at responding to them, and make no mistake, I’m not a shy person (as those who know me can attest, often with chagrin). But when it came to being “that friendly guy who always says ‘Hi’ to me,” I wasn’t that. Something always kept me from initiating the interchange.

But once I started, it got easier. And then it became a habit … and then a reflex. And it felt good. Because that’s what saying hello to someone does to us, especially (and this is important) if you’re the one initiating the contact.

After I returned a bit sweaty and with 23 “Good mornings” under my belt (and it wasn’t even 7 a.m. yet!), a memory hit me hard.

When I was in high school, my best friend/cousin Mike adopted a signature greeting in which he’d give a big, high wave and yell “How y’all are?” He did it as a sincere gesture of friendliness, but also to be funny, and it was both. Soon after, it became  his trademark move, lasting well into adulthood: the big wave and the “How y’all are?” Proof of his influence was a photo of him in our high school yearbook. (I mean, if your actions make the yearbook … need I say more?)

I remember never getting tired of that shtick because it always made me smile, and it still does when I think about it.

And that’s how I felt that day on my bike ride, doing my version of “How y’all are?” to anyone and everyone I ran across: from the guy putting out his trash cans, to the two women power walking, the older gentleman walking a dog that looked like the canine version of him, or the couple strolling quietly and taking in their surroundings.

It’s interesting, whether it’s waving at school buses, giving a friendly greeting to someone at a coffee shop or as I pass them in the grocery store, or waving and yelling “Good morning!” during a walk or bike ride, the more I do it, the better I feel. It never gets old or routine for me.

It’s like a superpower––one we all possess––to affect people in small but positive ways every day. Because at some point, we’ll perform a small, friendly gesture to someone, and it will bubble up later in their lives, and maybe give them comfort or make them smile, and maybe even make them think, “I should start waving, smiling and yelling ‘Good morning’ more often.”

I don’t know; maybe I’m overthinking all this. Maybe I’m the only one benefiting from it. Maybe

I didn’t create connection with those 23 folks, or the school bus drivers I see every day, or any of the other folks I’ve acknowledged with a peace sign, a wave, or a “good morning.”

Maybe they think I should keep my words, and my waves, to myself.

I hope not. But even if that’s what people think, I don’t agree that keeping my good nature to myself is how I want to move forward. Because if we aren’t willing to put ourselves out into the world, to do the simple things that make us––and hopefully others––feel a little better, then why are we here? And how are we going to succeed in tackling the big things?

Mike was onto to something when he started “How y’all are?” And while it took me a while (40+ years), I’m bringing it back, and hoping it spreads. Thank you Mike.

© 2025 David R. Haznaw