I'll Give you Three Reasons ...
... why I'm not writing an essay today:
for Joan (it's her birthday so let's get out of the way and give her some room to celebrate ... Woohoo!).
for procrastinators (it's Tax Day, so take this time to hunker down and file those SOBs!).
for f**k sake (it's April 18, and it's snowing here, so screw this).
See you next week.