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Just Read (Don't Read Into) My Thoughts

Usually on mornings when I write, an idea pops into my head and I expand on it. This morning, I decided to list some of the things, without context or expansion, that occupied my brain following today’s “opening bell.” On a typical Monday (or Wednesday or Saturday, I guess), I could take any one of the following and expound on them in detail, possibly to the topic’s – and the audience’s – exhaustion.

But since today is one of those unicorn “Monday observances of a Sunday holiday,” I’m going to sit back let these remain random one- and two-liners. Maybe someday I dive deeper into some of them, but for now, I’ll let you experience the stream of “semi-consciousness” that occurred in a 10-minute span this morning.

There are few things more annoying than hiccups. I get them, on average, twice a year.

When you see a banana peel on the ground, is it possible not to think about slipping on it?

Why can’t I relax? (Not a rhetorical question, I really want to know.)

A rock has no predator.

What’s going on with that sofa the neighbors put on the curb last week … the one missing a cushion?

The double meaning of “evaporated milk.”

What constitutes a near-death experience, and how many do we have in our lives without even realizing it?

I wonder how Joey Chestnut feels today. I mean, he won, but he also ate 75 hot dogs in 10 minutes.

At what age will I become the old guy in the room, talking about things, people and events no one has heard of? Has it already happened?

Noisy places and shoelaces (not sure how or why this popped up, but it seems like a nice little rhyme).

At what point does a person go from having bad luck to being bad luck?

I don’t like chess. I respect it and those who play it. It’s just not the game for me. (Neither, by the way, is checkers but for very different reasons.)

Are backup cameras in cars overrated?

I drink too much coffee.

I hope this computer gives me a couple more good years.

How do songwriters get away with writing such bad lyrics (i.e., “Don’t take money/Don’t take fame/Don’t need no credit card to ride this train,” Huey Lewis, The Power of Love)?

I think I’ll mow the lawn today.

The Milwaukee Bucks are in the NBA Finals for the first time in a million years. I remember the last time they made the championship series. It was such a different game then. (NOTE: This is an example of being the old guy in the room …)

Baseball is still my favorite sport.

The sun is up. Looks like it’s going to be a nice day.

My coffee’s gone. I know I should wait to have another cup, but …

Hey, a squirrel!

© 2021 David R. Haznaw

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