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Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My ... (Heavy Sigh)

It’s raining, a common spring phenomenon where I live and likely, where you live as well.

Usually, I’m alright with a nice, gentle rain shower, or the occasional thunderstorm. Thing is, over the past couple of days, it’s starting to wear on me. You see, when I woke up this morning, it was raining, just like when I went to bed last night. And, when I got up Sunday morning. And when I went to bed Saturday night.

It's been rain, rain, rain, nothing but rain for the past – let’s see – 29 hours, according to my dirty math. So, if you were questioning my use of the word “phenomenon” above (“Your terminology seems a bit extreme, Dave”), I think you’d agree that non-stop showers and downpours that last – truly without any break whatsoever -- for the better part of a day-and-a-half could be construed as somewhat phenomenal.

I like rain. I like to watch it, listen to it, and now and again, experience it firsthand by being in it. I also like Oreos, but not when they’re force-fed to me for a day-and-a-half straight. And, that’s what this feels like right now; like someone’s been jamming Oreos down my throat since Saturday night. When I went to bed Saturday, I was eating Oreos (proverbial speaking). When I got up Sunday, I had Oreos with my coffee and crossword puzzle. At lunch, I was still eating them. Sunday night, Oreos. And now, this morning, you guessed it …

… more Oreos.

If you’re wondering, I fully understand that equating rain to eating Oreos is one of, if not the worst analogies I’ve ever conceived; possibly the worst in history, for that matter. But, you’re smart, so I’m sure you understand what I’m driving at.

If you don’t (understand), let me put it to you this way: In a word, thissucks. (See what I did there? If you didn’t, I don’t have time to explain that or the Oreo thing, so we’ll just move on.)

Most times, the weather (rain or otherwise) doesn’t bother me, which is key when you live in the Upper Midwest, a place that has four distinct seasons with all the trimmings. While it’s true we aren’t at risk for hurricanes or earthquakes (Are earthquakes considered a weather event?), we get bone chilling cold, snow up to our necks, winds that knock our garbage cans to the end of the block, heat and humidity that makes one feel like a melting Popsicle, the occasional tornado and …

… rain.

And, right now, if you haven’t already guessed (from the Oreo story and “thissucks”), I’m tired of it, the continuous, constant drumbeat of drops pelting the windows. I’d rather have it rain on alternate days for two or three weeks straight than to experience this non-stop nagging.

And, let me tell you something friends, this hasn’t been some nursery rhyme spring shower either; it’s been an all-out Mother Nature offensive, an onslaught of downpours and deluges, which at times, I thought would knock the birds out of the trees or carry the squirrels down the street on tiny whitecaps. It was the kind of rain that had people (well, at least this people) checking their basements every couple of hours for leakage or failed sump pumps, and braving the wind, the wet and any falling birds (there were none) to make sure the gutters hadn’t clogged.

Now, let me be clear. I’m fully aware that a couple days of rain ranks on the “Things People Are Concerned About Scale” somewhere between “Where’s my back scratcher?” and “They ran out of Oreos at the grocery store, so I had to get Chips Ahoy” (an appropriate substitute for Oreos in our earlier analogy).

Fact is, it’s probably not even the rain itself that’s causing my angst. It’s the cumulative effect of a bunch of things all coming together at once over recent days and weeks (you can probably identify), and the rain is simply the proverbial straw (or Oreo, as the case may be) that broke the camel’s back.

That said, I checked the basement and gutters again this morning, and everything seems fine. And, while the weather app on my phone tells me this will last until about 4 p.m. today (heavy sigh), at least I can see light at the end of the rainbow.

I guess I just needed to vent, and now, I’ll try and find a silver lining in all this. Thing is, it’s tough to final a lining (silver or otherwise), when the entire sky is just one big, grey cloud.

Is it too early to start eating Oreos?

© 2020 David R. Haznaw

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